Just thinking Blog
I have such beautiful words in my head,
my speeches are flawless,
my arguments are articulate and passionate,
my stories are epic.
And yet my words do not pass my lips,
they rest heavy on my heart,
my mind spinning with no reprise.
As I try to speak the words I rehearsed thru the endless night,
they stumble, rolling, crashing thru each other.
They make no sense.
Where are my words?
I cannot find my beautiful words,
I cannot find what I want to say,
I cannot find me,
and so I stop, exhausted, empty, defeated.
Lessons from 2017:
I learned That:
- I am surrounded by angels
- That I have the most wonderful, supportive husband, sons, family & friends. Who listen when I need them (though the might not understand) and left me alone when I asked.
- That dreams do come true- with hard work and determination.
- That the world does stops when you hear those 3 words: “it is cancer” – Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (aka breast cancer).
- That I am not afraid of dying… but I am not ready yet.
- That I am afraid of the pain I can cause my family
- That people are kind and loving in the mist of their own pain
- That I am vulnerable
- That I am more powerful than I think
- That I am a Conquer… have always been and will always be
- And that I still need my mom at 60.
Lessons for 2018:
- Let me learn how to be my best self, to be of service
- To create an abundant, successful and fruitful life
- To love and be loved more
- That life is still a wonderful adventure
- To fill all the pages of my book with love, laugher, health, gratitude and crazy fun
- To be pure love, grace and peace